I wonder if in some cases we checked our sensibilities in at the door when we entered the JW's and never checked them out again (or in the case of lifers, never picked them up) once we left...
You took the words right out of my fingertips. I've only been to a few Apostafests (sorry about personalizing this to ex-JWs), but they've been wilder than any "worldly" parties I've ever attended - not that I didn't have fun to a point. I'm definitely not a prude or someone who has a problem with people cutting loose. But it's like some have gone completely opposite of where they used to be, when perhaps somewhere around the middle or left of center or hell, even right of center (but not too much, please), would work just fine as well.
This has been an eye-opening thread for me and I can't really add any new insights, except to say that the double standard is frustrating. When I started reading the hypothetical questions about asking a woman if she wears underwear, lifting the skirt, etc., my first thoughts were that I'd have kneed the bastard in the bollocks (and have done so, come to think of it). But as others have pointed out, that's a huge societal no-no when the genders are reversed, not to say that it wouldn't be deserved. The few times I've had to get firm with people who didn't understand "no" have been very frightening and upsetting, especially if it's someone you know. You feel like you're the bad guy or that others will think you're making a big deal out of nothing. ("Hey, it's only a little pinch. Nobody else seems to mind.")
I'm sorry you've had unpleasant experiences with kilt-wearing in America, LT, (oops, there I go personalizing again), but I hope you'll still wear it in future. I have a feeling that after this thread, you'll be treated a bit more respectfully.